Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurts? Something that no matter how hard you try you can never get that thing out of your mind? Something that you believe you have no chance in hell getting?

I have.

I know that feeling all too well.

And yes, I am talking about a guy.

I like never talk about guys, mostly because I was under the firm belief that I repulsed them because yeah I like video games, yeah I have the triforce tattooed on my back, yeah I'm not "perfect" but who is these days? I always believed that No body would ever want me, because I am different. Then I met a guy. For all intensive purposes lets call him K. I liked K the moment I met him, ya see, I work with him. I see him practically every day. He's a fricking sweet heart. And as usual, I liked the guy, he never liked me back. I was bummed out. He actually distanced himself from me for a while. Then I moved to town. A) to get away from my parents and B) to get away from him. I quit my job because I had no car, and lucky for me he took the winter off. I thought by moving away it would get him out of my mind. I thought I would never think of him again. And It would have worked, until I needed my job back because I couldn't find one in town. My very first day back, he worked (he got called in actually, funny cuz he was suppose to be off for 4 months lol). When I saw him, it all came back. It hit me like a brick wall. I fell for him all over again. And I set myself up to be hurt once again. But stupid me, never gave up. As one of my favorite sayings goes: "I'm 99.9% sure he doesn't like me, but its that 00.1% that keeps me hanging on" and holy fuck did I hang on. I hung on till I was positive there was no shot in hell. You would think I would be happy to just have him in my life. He is after all one of my best friends. And after a while, I was content to have him as just that: A best friend. Nothing more. Nothing Less.

But if you think this story is over, you are wrong.

It was the beginning of July. We both had the day off, so we decided to drink and play video games all day. He's legal see, at the time I was still 18 (As of July 26th I became 19) So he had to get the Alcohol. We set up my Wii, craked open the drinks and began to play. I discovered that drinking on an empty stomach is like the WORST idea ever, I was hammered after like 2 1/2 lol, I also can speak coherently though I mix words up. At one point I actually said, "I am to drive to drunk my car." I also discovered that the more I drink, the worse I get at video games. I like NEVER die in Super Mario 3. I died every level once I got to world 3 (The Alcohol started taking effect by then) We couldn't get past I think it was 3-6 or 3-7 so we warped to world 5. I was doing great till I hit world 5-2 then we were both fucked. BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT! After getting angry with the Wii we turned it off and for some reason unknown to either of us, watched the News. After a half hour of that, we plopped Love Actually into the DVD player. Truthfully, I don't really remember anything about it. I was that out of it. I also discovered that while drunk, you get something called Liquid Courage. It makes you do things you wouldn't normally do, or things you don't have the courage to normally do. Well I bet you can guess what I did. I gathered what courage had not evaporated in my body and kissed him. I fully expected him to push me away. I was wrong. He kissed back with such energy it shocked me. 2 hours went by in the snap of a finger, and I haven't looked back. You would think with all that has happened between then and now that he would be my BF but he's not. We are just REALLY good friends. (heavy emphasis on the Really) He is everything I have wanted, and I am just sitting back and enjoying the ride.